Dog Blog

 

Number of dog-related falls: 3

Dreams

Numerous and weird.

The Dark Ages

It's 12:28am. And very dark.
Dark....outside.
It would be a touch lighter, but 3 days ago, the local council, in a fit of austerity-inspired madness, decided that the town no longer needed street lights after midnight.

This project has cost (to date) £1.5 million pounds, and is estimated to save the council £500,000 a year.

So we, and we're all in this together, unless we aren't, will need to wait 3 years until this breaks even.

This has now resulted in some sort of unofficial curfew. You can see all of the late-night dog walkers desperately trying to cram in one last walk before you're pitched into a blackness that's akin to the Silent Hill games.

I know, because I'm one of them. Walking the dog around the block by torchlight is one thing, but picking up his mess, while holding the poop bag in one hand, torch in the other, with his extend-a-lead firmly grasped between my thighs, is not something that I enjoy. Especially as every few seconds, I have to wave the torch around, looking all around me, fearing that another dog walker will be coming out of the darkness.

Their are quite a few dog walkers in my neighbourhood that like to walk their dogs off the lead, or "out of control" as I like to call it.

One of my new pet fears is bumping into one of these canine surprises while I'm out with Billy, in the dark. The first rule of Bite Club is you do NOT talk about Bite Club. But I promise you that IF it happens, the whole street will hear it.

And I will side with my dog, whether he starts it or not. I'm not above biting a dog.

Anyway, back to the darkness. When did taking light away ever make anything safer? I mean, there's ONE albino that I know of in town, and I know for a fact that he goes out at night, so I'm sure he'll be loving it. But as for the rest of us, if you have to go outside for anything, you'll need a torch or you're buggered.

I have no idea what happens if a crime is committed or if there's an accident? The police don't have a magic button to turn these lights back on, so they can investigate something, look for clues, plant evidence, or whatever it is they do these days.

I've read the opinion of two locals so far on this subject. One said that it was spooky, but a good idea. While the other thought it was good for cutting light pollution and we made it through the Dark Ages, so what's the problem.

Why yes. We all made it through the 14th century. What on earth were street lights invented for in the first place? I mean, what madness! Why do we have cars, or penicillin? I mean, we made it through the Dark Ages without them. What's the problem!

By the way, what does the word "akin" mean?

Keith Haring

I recently watched a documentary about Keith Haring. On that note, take this.

        

This is currently on at the Herbert, in Coventry. If you're in Coventry and you have some time to kill (no pun intended), then this little show is well worth checking out. It features thought-provoking work from some interesting artists. It's all about war, civilians caught up in war, and possibly about reconciliation.

If you like name dropping, there's a John Piper, a Banksy, a Blek Le Rat, a War Boutique, a KennardPhillips, and many, many, many more.

This was actually my first "in the flesh" Banksy, and while it wasn't the life-changing experience I believed it might be, I did enjoy seeing it up close. Although the message of the piece may have been lost on me, as I kept thinking "that's worth HOW MUCH!".

I think there are a couple of pieces from some "bona fide" war artists in there too. You know, people with guns and paintbrushes. The artists that know how to kill you, and as you're dying, paint a really unflattering portrait of you while you're feeling at your worst.

War and conflict is really shit. It thins the herd a bit, but we could do that just by not having so many children. Then we could get rid of war altogether.

Sure, some may call me simplistic, but I haven't got a clue what that means.

Anyway, go and see this show. Enjoy the art. Think about how lucky you are not to be shot at or blown up every day. And then leave a message on the official message board in there. Just try not to get too wound up if you read some of the other messages. You'll see what I mean.

Anyway (again), it's a good show, and even though you might leave there feeling angry, and with an overwhelming need to perform a citizen's arrest on Tony Blair, it's well worth going to.



So there.

I have spoken.

Now I sleep...

Dog Blog

Well, well, well.

The dog was leaking blood from his penis. I collect a urine sample and submit it to the vet.

I pay £16 to have it tested.

The vet contacts me.

It's tested positive for blood in his urine.

When pushed for a more definitive diagnosis, the vet said "To be honest, it could be anything."

Bravo, vet. Bravo.

So, the vet gives me a prescription for some antibiotics, and the very instant, the very instant I committed to purchasing them, the dog stops bleeding from his penis.

It's like the dog is working with the vet.

It's good news though. Nobody likes their dog to be ill or bleeding. And nobody likes following their dog around with a bit of tissue paper all the time.