Everyone has the flu and I rewrote a song from Grease once.

I got chills,
they're multiplyin'.
And I'm losin' bowel control.
'cause the virus
is multiplyin',
it's terrifyin'!

You better throw up,
'cause you need a pan,
and the nearest one's the loo.
You better throw up;
you better understand
shortly after there'll be poo.

Oh dear god, please don't tell me poo!

I'm gonna throw up!
(You better run, hon), o, o, oo, honey.
I'm gonna throw up!
(Then you'd better run, hon), o, o, oo, honey.
I'm gonna throw up!
(Then why won't you run, hon?), o, o, ooooo.
I'm on my knees.
Oh, yes indeed.

If you're filled
with infection
and you're starting to sway,
I hope the wind's not in my direction.
Keep away.

I better throw up,
'cause you need a man.
I need a man
who can keep himself alive.
I better throw up
get my bowels to move.
Oh, they will move!
In that my faith is justified.

Are you sure?
Yes, I'm sure down deep inside.

I'm gonna throw up!
(Then why won't you run, hon?), o, o, oo, honey.
I'm gonna throw up!
(Then stop singin' and run, hon), o, o, oo, honey.
I'm gonna throw up!
(I'm not lisnin' anymore, hon), o, o, oo.
I'm on my knees.
Oh, help me please!

Repeat chorus 2x
and call me in the morning.